


Mercy

by orphan_account



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, One Shot, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 21:26:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21152450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “I’m pregnant.”Kelley froze. She opened her mouth but no words came out.//Alex tells Kelley that her and Servando are expecting a baby girl.





	Mercy

**Author's Note:**

> I started proofreading this and then thought, "god, I don't have the energy for this."
> 
> I was mourning and felt like writing something quick.
> 
> Mercy by Shawn Mendes

Kelley dumped her groceries on the counter, rummaging through the bags to pull out the ingredients she needed for dinner before putting the rest away. She set up the water to boil and a pan to start heating on the stove and began chopping her ingredients, letting her mind wander as she went through the motions of preparing dinner.

The past couple of months had been interesting for Kelley. Winning the World Cup a second time felt even more triumphant than the first, and though the environment surrounding a tournament that huge was taxing in more ways than one, she still longed for the bubble of it again. She didn’t have to worry about anyone but her and the team.  
She felt guilty for even thinking it, she knows it's selfish, but there, at the World Cup, it wasn’t just that it was her and the team. It could also just be her and Alex.

Her girlfriend, Elizabeth, was in another country. Servando was in another country, and it was too easy for Kelley to slip into pretending they weren’t in the picture. She didn’t mean to read too far into things, to fall in love with the wrong person, but each lingering touch or kiss on the cheek, that always landed a little too close to her lips, from Alex always made her feel like by her side was right where she was supposed to be.

But she wasn’t, or at least it wasn’t where Alex wanted to be because when Servando came for the final Alex lit up, while all Kelley wanted was to still be the one in her arms. To kiss her with their gold medals hanging heavily around both of their necks. She couldn’t have that though, so when Alex ran to the stands to find Servando, Kelley shoved her feelings down, only to have them replaced by her guilt boiling up, and ran to find Elizabeth in the stands.

When they got drunk after the final and Alex kissed her the world froze, and that moment still hands in the air around her. But the next morning Alex had groaned, clutching her head and mumbling that she didn't remember anything after they left the party. 

She thought she’d been friends with Alex long enough to know what was going on, to discern if any of it meant something to the other woman, but it was a puzzle she couldn’t put together. And now Elizabeth would be here for dinner and to spend the night within the hour and she was thinking about Alex. Kelley knew she didn’t deserve the other woman, who was nothing but loving when Kelley’s mind was always elsewhere.

Her phone started ringing, breaking her out of her thoughts. She glanced down at it and saw the picture of her and Alex set as the other girl’s contact image lighting up her screen with an incoming facetime call.

“Of course,” Kelley mumbled before plastering on a smile and picking up the phone.

“I swear, always when I’m cooking,” she said.

“Hi, Kelley,” Alex laughed. “I can call later if I’m interrupting.”

“No, no. I always have time for you. What are you up to this evening?” Kelley replied, propping her phone up on the counter so she could continue chopping her vegetables. She didn’t have to fake a smile for long because as soon as she saw the forward’s face it was hard to stop a real one from coming out.

“Nothing much,” she sighed, a content smile settling on her face. “Just finished watching Serv’s game. They’re away this week, so it’s just been me around the house.”

“Pick up any points?” She asked, as she slid the peppers from her cutting board into the pan and gave her quinoa a stir before leaning on the counter in front of her phone.

“Just one, it was a draw. More importantly, what are you cooking? I can practically smell it through the phone.”

“Fajita bowls, Elizabeth will be here in a little while.”

“That sounds so good, Kel,” Alex groaned.

“If you came to visit more I could make you one,” Kelley replied, forcing a small laugh as she said it, only half-joking. She knew Alex was busy, knew she had Servando and a million other things going on but it still stung a little not to see her more. Kelley had no right to ask Alex to pick her over Servando, but the question was always stuck in the back of her throat.

Kelley could’ve sworn she saw a look of guilt flash in the forward’s eyes but it was gone before she could tell. “I’m sorry, there’s just been a lot going on.”

“I’m kidding,” Kelley said, turning away to stir the mix of vegetables on the stove to avoid looking directly at the other girl. “We’ve all always got stuff going on.”

“Well, actually,” Alex paused and Kelley furrowed her brow, looking back at the screen to see the other girl nervously biting her lip. She continued, ‘it’s new stuff going on. It’s kind of why I called.”

“Is everything okay?” Kelley asked, flicking the heat on the vegetables off and picking up her phone.

“Yeah! Sorry, yeah, everything is fine.”

“Then why do you sound so nervous?”

“It’s just that, I-” she took a deep breath and said, “I’m pregnant.”

Kelley froze. She opened her mouth but no words came out.

“Kel?”

“I, yeah, wow, Alex. Sorry, I was just surprised,” she gulped, “I’m so excited for you guys. When is she due?” She scanned the other girl’s face and couldn’t help but notice her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Shouldn’t it? She thought to herself. Shouldn’t she be happier to tell me this than anything else?

“Thanks, Kelley. And in April!”

“Wow, so what about the Olympics?”

“I’m going to take it one step at a time, but I’m still going to aim to play.”

This time Kelley let out a genuine smile, though small, “glad to hear it. It wouldn’t be the same without you there.” Softening her voice she added, “I can’t really imagine doing any of this without you here.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Kelley.”

“Promise?”

“Only if you promise you’re not going anywhere either.”

“Deal,” Kelley smiled.

The clicking of her front door unlocking and opening filtered into the apartment, followed by her girlfriend’s voice.

“That Elizabeth?”

“Yeah,” Kelley said, turning around to let her know she was in the kitchen.

“I’ll let you go then,” Alex said, seeing the small figure enter her phone screen as Elizabeth came into the kitchen.

“Yeah, right,” the freckle-faced girl said, disappointment slightly tinging her voice. “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re going to be the best mom. That’s going to be the luckiest little girl in the world. I love you, Al.”

“Kelley,” Alex shook her head with a slight smile and a watery look in her eyes, “thank you. I love you too.”

They hung up and Kelley turned to kiss her girlfriend gently on the lips, wrapping her arms around her waist. As the two finished dinner together, Kelley’s mind was somewhere else and she gently pushed away all of her girlfriend’s questions of whether or not she was okay.

Because she wasn’t okay. But she couldn’t say that she’s not okay because yes, she thinks Alex will be the best mom in the entire world, but she should be that mom with Kelley. That they should for sure be going to the Olympics together next summer, there shouldn’t be something jeopardizing that (and god, does Kelley feel bad for thinking of Alex’s pregnancy in that way). That they should be going another cycle together, but more than as a team. Really together, and after that, they would retire and have a beautiful family. She felt so fucking stupid for thinking that maybe, _maybe_ she could still have a chance to make it work. 

  
That she’s not okay because it’s been too late to tell Alex how she feels for years now, and she was never brave enough to do it. That she’s so fucking mad at herself for feeling this way, not being brave enough.

It didn't matter what Kelley wanted, what she could've sworn Alex wanted too. She was probably just reading too much into the other woman's actions, anyway.

So when they laid down in bed that night, and Kelley draped an arm around Elizabeth’s waist she tried to pretend that this was the body she wanted leaning into her.  
She pretended she wasn’t longing for the shape of Alex’s body and the smell of her lavender shampoo.

**Author's Note:**

> AM said fuck Kellex rights!!


End file.
